This ongoing project is the consequence of an idea that’s been living inside my head for a long time now, trying to be materialized. I’ve strived to understand its meaning. In this process, I’ve come to realize that a powerful tool for understanding lies in sharing; in sharing where I am, what I am thinking, my struggles, and my actions with transparency. This is the result so far. This digital platform is one more step in my continual effort for understanding the meaning this idea wants to communicate. I hope it has such an effect on you as it has had on me.
I’ve arranged this platform starting from the moment I realized there was something with the desire to be communicated, in the doodles I was mindlessly making on my everyday notebooks. The following sketch represents this moment. Below, the rest of the exploration so far is told through different diary entries in which I started to comprehend this idea, more sketches, discoveries and explanations. Through this effort I am looking to communicate this idea with the hopes of better understating it, by sharing the knowledge discovered throughout this process.
I do not know what I am doing or if I am going the right way. I trust that this is the right path, but trusting and knowing are very different. I have conviction and direction, I have objectives and goals that I want to accomplish, some set by myself, some externally imposed, some created by collective ideas. Anyway, I have direction, I want more, I have a hunger that motivates my movement. I act, I take action and I do the best I can. I go forward through my own life. I leave the mark of my path. I make decisions, I follow, I emulate, but I also guide and mark the pace. I create the pattern of my existence through my experiences. I walk the path and generate a rhythm. I might not know what I’m doing, as an individual, as a professional, as a generation, but I keep going forward. I keep going, constantly. I trust in action because it might as well be the only thing that I have. I trust that I’m on the right path. I trust in discipline and being constant. Maybe that is enough, I show up and I do my best with the experiences of my life.
Individual & characters
It all starts with the characters. They do not appear to have control over their initial conditions, much like ourselves. Their location and size are determined without their input or influence. Each one of them is dealt the particularities of its existence. Some are closer to others, some are further apart, some are bigger, some are smaller, but they all have unlimited potential.
Each character grows, as we do. Time affects everyone the same way. They all grow, they go through their continual actions. Every single moment of their existence they are deciding, they are taking action.
Here I am, like a million others, with myself. Expectant, but not knowing what will come next. Afraid, I might admit. I do not know what I am doing, there are a million suggestions, guides, choices, but little clarity. All I know is to do my best, to focus on today and do the best I can with it.
Growth
I am constantly moving forward, leaving a path and forming a unique pattern of experience. Every action I take, no matter how small, has a ripple effect. These actions might be small, but never insignificant. Every action I take is built on past ones and influence future ones. Some make big changes, others only marginal ones, but they all add up to create the pattern of my life experience. This doesn’t stop with me, and my personal experience, it also reflects my participation on the bigger scale. All of our participation on a bigger scale.
With every action these characters take, they grow, they expand their area of influence, they reach further. At the same time they strengthen their individuality, they become more themselves, and in a way they become lonelier. They are constantly growing, reaching out, and sooner or later they will make contact.
I can only keep expanding and trusting I’ll connect with others. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet another, if we’ll connect, maybe I’ll remain isolated for a long time.
Actions
I might not know what I am doing, but I am doing my best. I have intention, I have direction, I do my best to get there and I evolve as I learn from the process. I show up. I try my best. I show up again and try again. This is the process from where I draw satisfaction. The destination is nothing more than an excuse for action. The real value lies in action itself. In doing your best, in enjoying it.
We sometimes know what we want and we do our best to accomplish it. At other times we don’t even have the slightest idea of what we want, but we still move forward, we keep growing even if we stand still.
I decided to combat my immobile state with action. Working on this idea, I think I found part of its intention. This idea inside me has become more evident thanks to the process I have experienced by searching for its meaning. The process I am living by dealing with it, and on a bigger scale with the life moment in which I find myself now.
Some days are good, some hurt, but I follow through, one day at a time. I might not know where am I going, but I venture forward, with faith that I will come through. I leave my mark with my everyday actions. I create my unique life experiences every day, with every action.
The truth is that the feeling of control is a mere illusion. The only thing we control is our action. Action pushes forward, and maybe even to the comprehension of our story.
Regardless of whether the objective of an action is accomplished, with every single decision we make, we grow and we leave a path. All of these paths add up, building our personal growth, every single moment of our existence, expanding our pattern.
Straight lines stand for the intention of action. The clearest path between desire and objective.
Influencing
Some actions are small, some are big, but none are insignificant. Characters are in constant growth through their actions, guided by their intentions and by the conditions they are in. Whenever there is an intention there are many forces at play that influence it. Of course, there is the will of the character; what does it want to do? Where does it want to go? What does it want to accomplish? There is also the influence of the conditions in which the character finds itself, its history, its origin, its past actions. Finally, there are external influences, but we’ll get to them a bit later.
As the pattern of my experience grows by continuous addition of actions, I become a beacon, I vibrate, I expand and influence everything around me. It all starts with me. I might not know where I’m going, but I keep moving, doing my best.
Time
Time passes to all characters the same way. But not everyone continues growing. Some might choose to isolate themselves, be paralyzed by fear and hinder their growth.
Constant adaptation is required to be able to keep moving. If characters remain still, everything else continues to grow around them. The world won’t stop for anyone. Stillness results in entrapment.
I might not know where I’m going, but I keep moving forward.
Some characters continuously grow, expanding themselves, reaching further from their origin. Others, visible in the collective pattern, have died, their growth completely stopped. Dependent on others finding them and integrating their existence into the collective. Some characters die after big expansions, rich existences. Some die small. Some make connections with others and then die, others connect and then die together. Not every single character gets to continuously expand, none of them know which action might be the last one.
Maybe my pattern will remain unfinished, maybe tomorrow I won’t be able to do my best. Each day is worth living, each day adds value.
The characters, along with their intentions, actions, and growth are not perfect. They are all making their best every single moment, with every single action. They are not machines capable of perfectly executing their every intention.
The characters are bound by the laws of physics of their world, constant spacing and thickness in the patterns, restrictive and freeing and the same time.
Fear and uncertainty
There is a behavior constantly pushing me to understand, to control, an insistence on holding the reins of my life. A constant effort to visualize where I want to be and to do my best effort to get there. Most of the time I find myself lost, going forward with strength and conviction, but without much clarity of where I’m headed or whether I’m making the right decisions. I hold on to the faith that I’m going the right way and doing my best effort in every situation. I do not know where I am going, nevertheless, I keep going. I trust that my story has meaning and that I am still too much in it to be able to understand it.
Every moment we face fear with courage, we face fear with the decision of taking actions and continue growing. We never stop growing, we never stop facing the fear of uncertainty, of getting lost, of not knowing what will come next.
As we grow, we venture into the unknown, hoping we’ll find our way, even if we can’t see it clearly.
I don’t know where this path will take me, which turns it will take, or how long it will last. I can only trust it’ll take me where I need to be, and enjoy the ride.
Despite the fear of uncertainty, of the unknown, of getting lost, action is my power, I keep growing, I keep expanding, I keep moving forward.
Fear of action will always exist. It is the opposite force of our intentions. Characters that become paralyzed by fear become passengers of their own existence, guided by external conditions.
There are paths characters are afraid to take because they don’t know whether they will find the way. Paths they resist to take, hindering their growth due to fear and uncertainty. All paths are good, even if where they lead is unclear.
Isolation and loneliness
Characters are courageous, but they can surrender themselves into fear and refuse to grow. They might obsess with past conditions, but it not possible to grow backwards. This behavior will only hinder growth, letting the world pass them by, allowing it to continue growing around them until they are eventually absorbed by others, becoming a part of an external system. At this point they will have no further relevance past the space they occupy. We become passengers of our own existence.
I think we can enclose ourselves by the obsession for understanding and controlling these processes we are living. We can create a labyrinth in which we lock ourselves in. It is important to make an effort to visualize where we want to go and to do the best we can to get there, not letting us fall into obsession with uncertainty and lack of control, direction or understanding.
Relationships
When the moment of contact happens, interesting things emerge. Upon first connection, characters start to understand each other and their influences. They can’t both occupy the same space, and must find a way to coexist and grow together. They start developing relationships. They do not lose the individuality they have built through time, but become part of a larger system of growth. They grow collectively, expand further and reach far beyond individual capabilities. Intention and action remain, but external influence and circumstances gain strength. Now action has more potential, through relationships characters can reach far beyond individual capabilities.
When characters meet, interesting things happen. They sometimes encounter others in similar circumstances of growth experience, sometimes one has a big pattern of growth and the other one hasn’t built much individuality. Sometimes one assimilates the other, sometimes they assimilate each other, sometimes they align perfectly and build a stronger pattern of influence. Sometimes two meet, sometimes three, sometimes many more.
Some characters interact with one another in a very profound manner, merging their growth influence forever. Some others only have small influences over the existence of others. Some relationships help define the shape of their existence. Other relationships only touch briefly. Nevertheless, every single interaction influences their growth, their pattern, their story.
Every interaction matters, every single one adds up to their experience. Paths from different characters may cross briefly, for just a moment of existence, but it is still significant. Even the ones that are never in touch, have influence over the shape of existence of others.
We are are all parts of the same system. We are all part of the human experience. Each one of us playing an important part.
When connections between individuals happen, patterns beyond their individual capabilities manifest themselves. New possibilities, new actions, become feasible due to the collective interaction between individuals.
There is never absolute control over the direction that actions might take characters, past the interaction with others, lack of control becomes more evident. Where new paths might go is unclear. Intention of direction always remains, but external influence and collective constant growth has influence over the path.
Collective
I searched for the meaning of this idea inside me. It has been a process that has pushed me outside of my comfort zone, sharing unfinished ideas with others, hoping to find something through dialog. Maybe just for the sake of going through the process of putting this idea in order, into words, and communicate it to someone else, hearing it beyond my inner voice. I should work on this idea regardless of my understanding of it, maybe that way I’ll find meaning in the process.
My actions affect everything else, no matter how big or small, they all have an impact. Sometimes positive, sometimes not. I am part of the collective, the collective creation of our human experience. All actions add up, thus all actions have value. We are all ripple origins and collectively we move forward leaving the pattern of our existence.
Individual characters become parts of collective systems, that later become part of clusters of systems and so on, until they all become one.
Sometimes we refuse to connect, sometimes we crash, sometimes someone’s got to give. Collective growth is always more important.
Collective growth creates new paths and over time, new pockets of opportunity and creation.
Stories
It is difficult for characters to see the pattern they are creating from their own perspective. They can only see what their scale and circumstance allows them to see. Through this representation, an external point of view can be adopted, allowing focus on specific events found in the patterns. We can interpret the patterns and see different experiences, influences, relationships, growth, individuality, isolation, loneliness, creation, stories of success and the stories of those who didn’t make it back.
Origins and endings. They are all contained in the patterns. Sometimes full experiences are visible, sometimes only the beginnings, experiences that venture beyond with hopes of completion. Not all ventures succeed, and their endings are to be found in the patterns too.
There is no guarantee of continual growth, or success. But there is solace in participating in the collective experience.
Creation
Individual characters have interesting abilities, like growth, intention, action, and influence over others. Collective interaction of characters has the power of creating spaces of opportunity, and if the conditions are right, even the power of creation of new characters. Beyond these powers, the collective interaction of characters has the power of creating something individuals find impossible. They are capable of creating new patterns of existence beyond the tangible.
Individual characters are mighty in their power of creation, but individual power is small in comparison to the power of collective creation, where the possibilities of creation go far beyond individual capabilities.
Through the collective influence of their actions, characters gain the power of creation. New characters emerge from the interaction of one or more original characters. Not always, but if the conditions are right, creation is possible. Sometimes the conditions are only right for new opportunities to emerge, but not creation. Everything is recorded through the collective pattern of existence.
Characters can collectively create new ideas that link them together beyond their already existing relationships. They can create ideas that only exist in the collective summations of the patterns they create. Intangible ideas, abstract ideas that only exist because they collectively work together to make them exist. These creations are nowhere to be found, they lack tangible existence, but they do exist. We can see them, we can understand them, we can even define our existence based on them, sometimes even forgetting our everlasting individuality.
We cannot clearly define where these intangible ideas exist, where we can find them, or even what they are. However, this collective ability of creation beyond tangible existence has an extraordinary power for binding individuals together. Creating extraordinarily powerful bonds between characters.
Duality
The more characters reach out, the more their individual pattern dilutes into the collective one. The original individual pattern can never be dissolved, as the origin always remains and it is always possible to refer back to whom they originally were. Completely losing individuality is not possible. They might just become more intertwined with the collective existence.
The further they reach in their continuous intentions, the greater the possibility of never getting back to their individuality. The more connections they make, the more their pattern adopts new shapes. They are always being shaped by external factors.
There will always be this duality, between surrendering oneself to everything external while remaining true to individuality.
Even though I might feel isolated at times, we are collectively aligned. Millions around the world, collectively sharing isolation, sharing the individual experiences of ourselves. I focus on myself, on each day and every action I take. I am a ripple origin, I start with myself, I focus on myself and continue moving, adding, growing, reaching out. At the same time reaching further and enriching the original, myself.
Fractions
All of these patterns are not isolated, they are all parts of the same whole. Each one of them is a slice, a window, a part of the bigger pattern that they all belong to. How they are all related may be far beyond comprehension, but they are connected to one another as smaller parts of the larger pattern.
Similar to what happens with our own life experience, we are all part of the collective human experience, and our actions have an impact on the collective, leaving a path and creating the pattern of our existence.
We are too close and our lives are too short for us to understand how it all connects, how everything is related to everything else. We are too much in the story to see the whole picture. Nevertheless, all of these patterns are part of the same whole, separated by an unknown amount of space.
Big Picture
I am too close to see the pattern I’m making, but I trust it is significant. It might be small, incoherent, grand or ugly but it is still part of the bigger mark we’re all making as a whole. I might not know where I’m going, whether I’ll get there or why I do all this to begin with, but I keep moving forward, doing my best.
Imagine being able to see this full pattern, not only the extraordinary result of all the collective human experiences but the intangible patterns they create. We’ll probably never see the whole pattern, understand its immense size or inner relationships, but we can explore some parts of it through these windows, and marvel ourselves with the part we play on creating this extraordinary pattern of existence.
